|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Here I am, again! I'm sorry I didn't write anything in the last few days, but my school sux! There are lots of homeworks, tests,... And even if I don't make 'em, I spend my days thinking... Thinking, but not writing... I'm too confused, about any fuckin thing... And I just can't put my thoughts in order... Growing up is just so... fucking RIDICULOUS!!! I don't wanna grow up!!! I don't want a mediocre life, paying bills and all this shit... Working, pretending, fucking, fuckin, fucki, fuck: FUCK THIS MEDIOCRE LIFE!!!
I'm revolted with what my dad sad to me: "Growing up is doing what others expect, not what YOU want... Accept it and just live, normally..." AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Is this life? Is this what everybody wants to have as a life??? LIFE??? Life is being happy... What we actually do is existing... Not LIVING... We just exist, we just pretend to live... We... We... We.... FUCK "WE" AND "LIFE" AND "EXISTING"! I just don't wanna be this kind of people... I wanna live and understand life, in fact... =/
I don't wanna be normal, I AM NOT NORMAL!!! I am alien, with too many expectations, too many dreams, too much faith... Faith in living the way I wish... That's it for today... Just an advice here: DReAM AND MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE! That's what I think life is... Dreaming and acchieving...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
1:11 PM |
Hi! After a while, here I am again... I'm damn depressed (again..) but now I've got a reason... Sad news, and my TPM... I don't know how can I say this in English... It's like, these days before you're in your period... The days that you hate everything and everyboyd without a single true reason... That's how I am... Depressed and in TPM...
Well, I discovered a really great band: Disturbed!!! They are no underground band, and they made that song from Dracula 2000... I dunno if you ever watch it... I didn't, but I intend seing it... My favorite songs are: Remember and Stupify... They rock! If anyone wanna download these 2 songs or any other from them, search this most common mp3 sites... They always have it...
As I'm bored and depressed, I don't have many things to say... And I'm not inspired in writing this bullshit... You aren't baring this anymore, I think... Let this shitty days go, and I'll be better... I hope... Eh, I will! (I will survive, hey hey! hahahaha!!!!)... How dumb I am... shame on me...
"Look in my face/Slip in my soul/I begin to stupify" - Disturbed / Stupify
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
6:53 PM |
Wow your smart...
How Much do you know about Kurt Cobain??
brought to you by Quizilla
As you can see, I don't have any new... So, let's just take this quiz and see what you get?
See ya... Luv u...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
5:42 PM |
I don't know if I ever told you that I have misterious stomaches... But, I think I never did it... So, from some months to now, it's worse... I can't eat anything that I feel full of food, I don't stay a single morning without nauseas, or sick... Choose one... But, whatever, I went to my doc, and he asked me some exams, like those ones that the witchy blonde nurse take off your blood, and that one that pregnant women do... Well, after all this rotine of exams, there were no positive results... And, because of that, I'll have to do an endoscopy... Or whatever, I dunno how you say in English...
But that's not the point, the fact is that if this exam don't give any result neither, I don't know what it is... And I'll stay with this for a long, long time... Well, my mommy thinks it's pshycological, and I think the same too... I guess cuz now I start to decide what I'll do for my life... And I'm too confused... My mind and interests are in a terrible disorder...
Uh, I think that's all for 2day... See ya...
And Sophie, could you give me your new link when you choose a host? I liked you, and I wanna keep in touch with u! U R 2 COOL 2 B 4GOT10 !!!
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
12:12 PM |
Thks for everybody! That helped me a lot... Now I realize that I'll have to download Kazaa... What a conspiracy of this program... There's no other site with Faith No More songs in mp3, for free... That's such a conspiracy!!! Now, the only way is to download this program... I've already used it, but it's too slow... I never downloaded an entire song from Kazaa... Well, but this time I'll have to have this songs in my pc... And thks for everybody again! If anybody has the link of the download, it'll save me a lot of time, and I won't need to participate from this conspiracy of one... Please, could anyone give both links??? Please, I'm beggin!!!
Luv u all! See ya...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
6:42 PM |
I need a favor from anyone who wanna help me... I have to download 2 songs from Faith No More ('Epic' and 'Easy')... Could somebody please give the link or the url for me to get this stuff? I'd be really happy if somebody made me this little favor...
And, of course, it needs to be the complete version of 'em... hehe... I'm a jerk, I'm a loser, I'm a blog abuser... hehe...
Well, I have classes tomorrow so, I'll have to go... My little monkey classmates wait my nonsense presence there... Poor guys, how I abuse 'em! ...
Thks and see ya...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
8:57 PM |
I'm happy that my blog has new comments again! It makes me think that there are people who still likes what I say and think (and that's just sooo important to my ego, you can't imagine...)... Continuing, as a trash-and-french-movie-lover, I saw "The Pact Of Silence" an hour ago, and it's really nice! That's the story of female twins (which one of 'em is accused from commiting a murder), and a father decides to help that one. Well, I won't tell everything, cause I don't wanna tell u the end and the hidden stuff of the movie (I'm not that boring.. hehe..)...
So, I'll talk (write, better..) about missin' someone... I don't have this feeling all the time, cause unffortunatly I'm a little bit cold (or too sensitive.. I feel people's energy in an e-mail or letter, for exemple..).. It's too sad when you need someone to do the simplest things of our daily lifes and that someone is not with us... Don't you feel like part of you is gone? Like part of your heart and mind had just dissapeared? Like your soul and lungs abbanndoned you? If you ever felt like this, congratulations, you've already loved and missed someone! It's too obvious, but I like to remind people that someday they loved someone, and it's not a joke! Well, haven't you ever lost someone in your way to happyness (I mean "lost" as when your relationship goes thru different ways, like when a loved one has to live in another country..)? Almost everyone "lost" and old school partner or anybody else, and sometimes we forget about how important that people were.. That's one of the most terrible faults of the human beings: forgeting someone that changed our lifes and/or helped us.. But really forgeting, without saying or expressing thank's... That kind of things show how dumb and selfish men is, thinking that the world is his/hers and that he/she made everything by him/herself... That's just too wrong! World is lived like if it was mine or yours 100%! And the world is a multitude of people and attitudes, that, together, form it! It's unison! Each one gives its contribution and help or destroy the world, little-by-little...
So, do your best (whatever 'best' is for you)! Believe in your talents and go on, living life as a multitude of songs, that will represent the most beautiful and complex simphony of all! That's just Rock'n'Roll! It's what you are, with sensibility and passion! Rock on, people! And be happy (whatever 'happy' is for you)...
See ya... Hope I helped anyone to see things better...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
7:33 PM |
How idiot I am! I didn't put any fucking stuff about Kurt's birthday!!!!!!!! How dumb I am!!!! I remembered all the time, I sang "Happy Birthday" and all of that, but I forgot to put any fuckin pic of him here!!! Now, for my loved one, his pic! Luv u...
Kurt in 1993, during Brazil shows! He came here! Yeah, but not in my city.. again.. But, who cares? My city is a whole of shit! Like my country... Whatever, let's write about how genius Kurt was!
I won't tell facts and stuff that everybody knows, but I'll write about the stuff I don't get... He was soooo deep and sensitive, just 2 things that I just know in 4 guys (one is Kurt, of course!)... We need more guys like him, to change pain in art, and change the world as a whole... The trend and the midia are a bump of motherfuckers, that work together to destroy all the free-living of human beings... Nirvana was sucked by them, and that's why most of the fans don't really know what they love... They don't understand the reallity, they just follow the trend, without understanding the magic of Nirvana's life and music... That's just soooo disgusting.... I can't say anything, cuz I love lots of bands and don't know anything about them, just what everybody knows... But, I don't like 'em cause of trend, but cause their songs mean something for me, they remind me of great things (sometimes sads, too), but that's the whole magic of music! You love 'em cause they have a special meaning for you (but if it's because of trend, then forget it! You don't really love, you r just another motherfucker who loves to be like your empty friends)....
Gone, but coming back in a while....
Listening and loving: Linkin Park - Sometimes.mp3
February, 20th - Kurt's Birthday! Most Beautiful Day Of All!
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
2:59 PM |
RHCP came on 2002 to my city! And I didn't go, cause the prices were too expensive, and my parents said they wouldn't pay for me....But also cause it was a big rock show, and they are always caring about me and saying "In that kind of places, there r lots of drunks, junkies and all of this"!!!! Shut up! Don't you trust me??? Well, whatever, what's gone is gone... What's done is done... I'll wait for the next big rock show, and I'll go! Yeah, I will! See ya (in a rock show hehe..)...
Sick with Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes.mp3
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
2:36 PM |
My last hours of happiness and joy... better, last hours of depression and lonellyness..... I love to be by myself and just think about everythink.... without being interrupted with fool stuff, like "Could you make this for me?", or "Where did you bought it?", and maybe "What did you do on your vacations?"... And I say "FUCK"! I can't handle this anymore!!!!!
Bye......
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
9:32 PM |
I'm back, and now I'll stay for a loooong time! Thks God, better, thks Boddah! Now, I'm reading a lot about buddhism, or whatever, I don't know it is in English..
The last post wasn't commented... I'm so sad that my blog friends don't visit me anymore.. But they must be on vacation too.. Dunno...
Well, nevermind, my classes start in 4 days... Shit! I just have 4 days to be happy... Why? Duff, forget it... I just said it to announce that my posts will be longer, but I won't write everyday, as I supposed...
I'm so damn sad, angry and calm... Write, right? Dumb, numb, faint, paint... I hate those rymes! They are all I am, and I hate 'em!
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
7:31 PM |
That last post was tottaly crazy, nonsense and I just wrote that shit to say I was alive... poor girl (me...)...
Uh, a big new: I saw Belle and we went out twice! I slept at her house and she did the same in mine! Total Freud session!!! Huahuahuahua!!! We spoke a lot about everyone (mainly about us, our crazy stuff and everything else...)... Our conversation seemed like a therapy, so funny and deep... I loved it!!!
Well, a sad new: I'll travel tomorrow (again! Fuck off!), and I just come back next week... Shit! Fucking travels!
See ya... I'll write more after a minutes (my dogs are waiting me! Cute dogs! I love 'em!)...
Fred Durst and his Xmas tree! Limp Bizkit! YEAH!
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
7:26 PM |
Hi, I'll write a little, just to say hi!
I'm better now, uh... dunno...
I'm so idealess, I have to be quick or my money won't pay this (I'll explain it better, later..)
Well, I'm hving load of fun, thanks 4 all the comments!
See ya, luv u all!!!!
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
7:05 PM |
Well, I'll travel tomorrow and just come back next month, so... I'll only post on March... I'll try to find a cyber coffee or something like that, so I can post once a week..
I'm not feeling that grreat traveling, sinceerly I don't wanna go... But, till I'm dependent of my parents, I'll have to go...
Uh, I'm reading a lot (still) and mainly about religions (budism, indian religions and stuff like that)...
So, see ya! I'll try to post more 2day, but if I can't, that's my last post till I travel...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
2:04 PM |
You, my friend are a true individual. You most
likely hate trends and are creative. By seeing
things differently, people either admire you or
think you are a bit strange. I'm guessing you
are a lot like me. Perhaps a Good Charlotte
hater? I hope so. An inspiration to us all,
continue being you! (If you like GC, I'm sorry,
I am just expressing an opinion) - P.S.: I really don't like 'em...
A Deeper Look Inside Yourself (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
As you all can see, I love taking this quizzes... hehe! And now that I found this site, I'm taking quizzes all the time! How happy and dumb I am..hehe...
Well, I'm in a good humor, so I won't write kilometers of my old posts "how-i-am-damn-depressed", cause 2day I'm kinda fine. I almost went to a budist temple, but it started raining and I gave up (shame on me!)... Uh, I'm kinda "idealess" now, so I dunno what I can write about... Let's just forget and take more quizzes! Haha! Bye!
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
10:52 AM |
You Know You're Right
What Nirvana song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I did this quiz a several times, changing the answers, believing I wasn't sooo bad... But, really, I'm depressed... This was the last song of all, representing his (Kurt's) end, suicide... So, if I'm that song, my time is coming (I don't believe that quiz, it's just, that, it's too much coincidence..Sad, but true...). No, I'm not going to kil myself now; no, it isn't my last post and my last goodbye; ...
That's it! Bye...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
11:28 AM |
A little questionary, about my humor in the last few days... After, my ordinary text about me and me, that nobody reads or bare anymore... hehe.. Well, let's do it!
At this moment, what is my favorite...
1. ...song? Nirvana - Blandest (if anyone could listen to it, do it! That's my favorite rare song!
2. ...food? Now, no special food... Maybe fried chicken...
3. ...tv show? I'm not watching tv anymore, so... let's remeber: Friends could be...or Jackass! Yeah, surely Jackass rox!
4. ...scent? Wild Wind - Gabriela Sabbatini or Sabattini, whatever
5. ...quote? My two favorites: "Rock is the best and fuck the rest" & "There's nothing you could say that I haven't thought before"
My text>>> I received a message from my friend (Belle), who moved from another State, and she was the first one who wrote something to me! I'm so damn strange! I feel happy and revolted with myself! How could I doubt my friends? Those who always helped me and still do it! Shame on me... But, it doesn't mean I left books, by the way, they entertain me and are my companiors during this terrible vacation (while I don't meet my friends about bone and skin)... Another friend who wrote me and still do it is a new friend of mine (Lucas), and he is about to release a solo cd! Isn't it great? This cd will have 2 covers (Limp Biskit and Linkin Park) and the other songs will be written and created by him! He's a HUGE fan from RHCP, but he didn't put any song by 'em in this cd, I dunno why, cause he has a grrreat voice and play all their songs extremely well (he's a grrreat guitar player!) Stoping this "apple-shinner" stuff, I'll see Belle in February, cause I'll travel to the State she's living now! I'm so ansious, I can't wait!
Well, my humor is a little bit better (50% better), but I'm still sad and depressed (not so much, but I still cry and write a lot)... The only thing is gone is my suicidal side, what used to entertain me, but disappeared for a while... Uh, my dogs are growing sooo fast, you can't imagine how big they are (not that much, cause they are yorkshires..hehe)! They started chewing my shoes and the sofa, what's pretty comic, cause they don't have big teeth...hehe
So, that's enough for 2day, tomorrow I'll return, with no fresh news... Bye...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
3:46 PM |
After a long time, here I am, again... I was traveling, and I read a lot (by the way, that's what I do almost everytime)... I finished "Perfume", I'm reading it again, and also, "Artemis Fowl", all the collection... Really cool, both! I recommend anyone who likes to read, cause they are both hypnotics...
Changing subjects, my humor is better, but I continue living in my own world, prefering to be alone... Now I don't miss my friends too much, I have books! Books don't tell you what to do, they give you clues; they don't ask for fidelity, they are there to serve you; they can't leave you, you own 'em; they don't jugde you, you judge 'em. Unfortunatly, that's the truth... Boks call me when I want and need 'em, but my friends have all abandoned me: they don't call, write or remember me anymore... They just appear when they need me! During the last days, I was the only one who called, wrote or remembered 'em!... That's disgusting 'till the point I always believed and trusted them, now they don't give a shit of what I'm passing thru! I am depressed, angry, suffering and they don't give a shit (if they remember who I am..)! I'm in a suicidal time, really, and I'm too sensitive... I cry a lot, write and read dramas, close myself into a shelter that only love can pass...
"Life is a desert, and I'm thirsty"
By Hated-Myself
Bye...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
1:40 PM |
How I blame myself for not being strong enough... and, maybe, I could have reacted... I know it wouldn't be good, I prefer to hide myself and sit with my tears, just crying and thinking... That's my way to deal with everything: cry and hide. Revolting, isn't it? But, I prefer being like this and not being violent, or reacting, cuz the results r always terrible if you do this. Most of the people hate you after and try to have a revenge (what I honestly wouldn't be prepaired for), and that's why I'm weak, cuz things roll better this way, they leave peace behind. And I want peace the same way I wanna live in the U.S, with all the power and will I can find in my relapse body...
Well, I finished Harry Potter yesterday! Really cool! The best from all of 'em! I love Harry Potter's books! They r all awesome!
That's all for 2day, cuz I'm exposing myself too much, and that's just not good...
See ya...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
3:19 PM |
Hi, folks! 2day I'm kinda bored, I'm feeling pain, and I just can't get my guitar on the right tune!!!! It's sounding strange and I'm so full of pain... I'm sleepy and I just can't put my thoughts and actions in order (again...) ... My God! Where should I be? I'm so full of questions, pain, anger and sensitivity!!! I'm writing a lot, almost 5 pages of my notebook everyday! I don't remember about what, but mainly about my feelings, cuz they just don't leave me (what is supposily, and truly, nice). I'm dizzy, and can't walk 2 much, cuz I'd fall down and break my little heart... Someone, save my depression! I'm so damn depressed... Almost everyday I turn to myself and ask what I am now... It's so fucking disgusting u seeing urself falling into darkness and can't helping... No one knows what I'm passing thru, cuz I don't want anybody saying that I need help! I ain't no baby, retarded or anything like that, who needs assistance all the time! I don't need a blonde and witchy nurse! No, I just need friends, laughs, gigs, beer (now I'm drinking!What a genius who created it!) and my dogs! Isn't heaven based on this five stuff? My idea is something like that, but I don't know if I'm prepared to be happy, my sadness will be missed... I kinda like to have this feelings and suicidal thoughts, cuz they help me to see different angles of life, they show me a new wold, where I can put little characters and play with 'em... It's kinda my own world, my big, enormous, history! I'm thinking seriously in becoming a writer, if someone could stop me or just give me strength to go on, talk to me (maybe one of you could be part of my new world, and you could be in my future book...hehe! Did I convice anyone? Tell me)...
Well, see ya and, please, comment !
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
5:54 PM |
Hey everybody! Here I am, with no fresh news (again...)
I spent all my day at home, eating, playing PS and in the computer... What a fresh new!!! Damn life, what more can I do??? Well, I'm not enjoying life anymore, but a real new made me change my mind : In a year and a half, I'll certainly do that exchange program in Seattle!!! Isn't it perfect? My life will be perfect in a year and a half!!! I'm so damn happy!!!!!!! Well, but my frustration of being myself and doing (better, not doing) some stuff is still with me, what turns my life in a total depression again...
The only thing I can ask myself is WHY?!?!?! If someone could answer this simple question, call me!!!!!!
This pic is just what I'm feeling now, appearing good, but angry (frustrated) inside...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
8:12 PM |
Hi! I'm just a little bit better now.. My sadness is leaving me for a while (but, PLEASE, don't disapear, 'cause I'll miss u...)... I don't know if I feel happy for that, actually, I'm feeling alone (so what?)... God dammed! My thoughts are in total disorder, I just can't sit here and type this things!!! Well, maybe I can and need it... I'm becoming an obsessive writer of stupid things! 
Let this shit go... As a good-obsessive-and-crazy-writer, I'm reading a lot! I just bough "Perfume" from Patrick Suskind, and I'm reading Harry Potter (the last one), too. At the same time I'm reading "Don't sweat the small stuff - For teens" (I'm not liking it so much, it's a little too positive...) 
So, that's it for 2day! Bye... 
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
12:23 PM |
As you can see, I put a tagboard here, to hear (or read) what you are thinking about this blog. I hope u all like it, cause I feel excellent spitting my feelings away (mainly cause u don't know me, and you can't judge me..).
Well, I'm feeling better 2day, cause I've been doing different things along my way (I saw Scary Movie 3 yesterday!)...
uH, I don't know what to write anymore, cause my little sister (better little monkey..hehe) is pissing me off now, like all days I live by her side, total hell! My personal hell...
One more thing, comment please!
Bye...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
11:08 AM |
I forgot to put a picture from Dave alone... But, here we go...
Well, my days are being a little bit bored, I just don't go out and don't talk to anyone... I only sit down, in front of my computer, and spend my day listening to music and on Internet... depressive, isn't it?
But I enjoy this things, staying at home by myself, exploring the virtual world and updating myself at every moment.. Actually, no, I don't (except the part of being alone, 'cause I love it sometimes), but, what can I do? My friends are all traveling and I don't feel pleasure in going out alone, seing always the same things... No, that's not what I wanna do, certaintly...
So, my regrets here for not being independent enough to leave this dammed computer and for not getting away from my home...
That's all, folks! See ya...
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
11:36 AM |
Hi! This is my new blog, where I'll put some cool stuff about me and what surrounds my little world (I'm lookin' like an altist.. but from some days to now, that's what I'm feeling)...
Well, bringing joy to this blog, today is a special date >>> It's the birthday of the x-drummer from Nirvana and nowadays vocal/guitar from the Foo Fighters, DAVE GROHL!!!! He's 35 now, and has a new project (Probot) for a metal band. The single "Shake your Blood" has already been spitted out around the Internet! Check out the most famous sites about music and listen to it! I already did it, and I found great!
That's all tday... see ya!
Spitted By
cobain girl
|
2:45 PM |
